Sir William Welles’ Nocturnal Diary

Greetings my dear Gothlings!

As many of you may have noticed, on NewGothCity.com’s upcoming events roster, there is a weekly listing for a television show entitled “Demons” that premiered last Saturday (1/2/10) on the obscured BBC-America channel, which, if you don’t know, is a British channel. This show, having only six episodes per season, centers around a teenager’s, Luke, coming to age (and grips) story (do you start to smell a similarity here) as he finds out from his long lost God-Father, now turned mentor, that he is in direct lineage of Abraham Van Helsing, and it is up to Luke (played by a very boy-hunk-attractive Christian Cooke, to lure in the teen female viewers) to continue in his family’s legacy to “Smite” the “Freaks” and “Inhumans,” all the while studying for an exam. Does this sound all a bit confusing? It should…for a 47 minute season opener.

However, much like my favorite para/super-natural show, “Being Human,” also found on BBC-A (I can’t wait for season 2 soon!!!), this show has that certain edgy and independent feel to it making it more raw and believable, rather than the slick production values American series tend to embrace. Don’t get me wrong, Demons does have some good production value…mostly in the lighting. The special effects and character costumes can be a bit laughable at times, as well as some of the dialogue…but you know what? It’s actually fun that way. This show definitely does not take itself seriously…at all! And neither did Being Human. It’s over-the-top at times, yes, but it does have it’s moments. Moreover, the entire season only lasts 6 episodes out in the UK, as opposed to dragging out hour-long shows to 12 or 26 episodes here in the states…in that respect you are getting a better bang for your buck!

My one big problem with Demons was the story’s blatant disregard for the “Freaks.” They could range anywhere from a “level 1″ rat to a “Level 12″ something or other…Goblins, Werewolves, Vampires, etc. are all fair game. The darker characters don’t have much ‘meat’ to them…but this is only episode 1 that I saw, I’m sure like other series of this ilk all the characters shall be better explored, and thus not turn into a simple us vs. them situation. Fingers crossed. 

I urge you to take a look at Demons at least once to create your own opinion of this show. It’s good to broaden your television watching horizons, especially internationally. If you have Time Warner Cable here in the N.Y.C. area you can go to the BBC-A On-Demand channel, on channel 1011, where you can see past episodes for free whenever you want. Also, if you get the chance, watch Being Human…it really is quite good! 

See you in the Dark!
Sir William Welles

Greetings my dear Gothlings!

CRICKEY!!! You will never believe the experience I’ve just had last night! What a rare and fascinating experience! Let me explain…I was unaware, but fortunately privileged to observe a multitude of younger, more underdeveloped Day-Crawlers at a watering-hole which gave me much insight to the basic instinctive behaviors of this species. The research data I’ve gathered is rather staggering and remarkable in which I’ve concluded that common social Day-Crawler behavior is indeed forged at the 18 to 21 year stage of life! Let us proceed into my tale…

I arrived at a familiar watering-hole close to my dwellings at approximately 11pm last night (the name and location of said watering-hole shall not be disclosed here for legal purposes…you’ll understand why in a bit). I could witness from across the street that the establishment was thick with a vast herd…a bit unusual, I thought, but reasoned it to being due to the Sunday night ritual of watching a barbaric gamed called the “Foot-Ball” (which oddly enough hardly involves feet what-so-ever) on numerous television screens.

This specific watering-hole, being known as a “Sports Bar” usually tends to attract male Day-Crawlers seeking to witness male-on-male competition, which, in turn, attract single females whom feign interest in said athletic competition in hopes of finding a mate…a rather desperate and futile exercise, in my opinion. But this was not the case, I soon found out. No! As I approached the watering-hole I soon found myself face-to-face with an inexplicable hoard of under-aged Day-Crawlers!

As I entered I found myself pressing forward through a frenzy of bodies that have not yet fully matured, but find themselves in a much sought after adult environment (for the record I gauged the age range to be 18 - 23). Astonishing! What were the chances? This was maybe a once in a lifetime shot to observe less mature Day-Crawlers at a watering-hole which were gathered there illegally. Let me explain how this rare occurrence comes to fruition:

Usually, within this Day-Crawler age bracket, an attractive female will serve as a scout (perhaps accompanied by a small cluster of other females for maximum effect) in search of a watering hole that is rather lax in their age restriction/serving alcohol to those under 21 policies. On a Sunday night most watering-holes don’t bother to hire a Bouncer since most Day-Crawling revelry is ritually done on Friday and Saturday nights. Once said young Day-Crawling female has infiltrated such an establishment using her charms  on either a doorman/bouncer/bartender, or all of the above if skilled enough, she will quickly use her technology to summon others of her flock to her location. Soon enough a swarm of similar males and females overwhelm the watering-hole and its staff…a sad sight, really.

I was forced to witness several of the bar staff struggle against the onslaught of rapid demands and ravenous appetite for libation! They descended on the bar like a fat kid on a happy meal. The bar staff (most of them good acquaintance of mine) were reduced to nothing more than drones trying to keep afloat among the chaos  in which they swam in…they obviously weren’t expecting this…all I could do was watch in horror.

I pushed past the hoard toward the back of the watering-hole in hopes of finding a small cover of refuge. In doing so, I found two acquaintances that are employed at the watering-hole cowering from the invasion of young Day-Crawlers. Being Day-Crawlers themselves, this gave me great cause for alarm. I found a small 2ft. X 2ft. haven which seemed fortunate…but…un-fortunately was situated directly adjacent to the male and female urination area! Now…whilst this might sound unsightly, it did give me the unique opportunity to witness a rather heated conflict between the young Day-Crawler sexes!

As I stood there, quiet and still, in my corner, in close proximity of the Day-Crawling relief sectors, I observed that the sheer volume of herd population was overbearing on the watering-hole’s facilities. Now, it is scientifically proven that a female Day-Crawler’s bladder is much smaller than a male’s, allowing for reproductive organs and such. And it is also architecturally proven that there are far more relief stations for males than females in any given establishment and/or watering-holes…a sad fact…but true…thus, the following happens:

Males have the fortune of relieving themselves less often and are quicker in doing so (thanks largely in part due to their ability to urinate upright, and their clothing are adapted to accommodate such practice), as opposed to their female counterparts, sometimes having to remove several layers of clothing and also taking extra care of hygiene, primping, etc. within an already restrictive are, hence a queue quickly starts to form. Sometimes small packs of two or three females will enter a small lavatory at once which sometimes adds to the time spent inside as opposed to lessening it in theory. Now, in this day in age, especially with the younger generation of Day-Crawler females, they are not so shy to use a male relief area if unoccupied and if pressed, tossing segregation to the wind. However, you will find that (and particularly because females tend to take longer) that the males become quite hostile to this practice…especially after ingesting several beverages, thus the conflict has been formed…and I find myself uncomfortably amidst this scene. I move to another perch…

I manage my way to the front end of the watering-hole with some great difficulty. As I squeeze through the swarm of young day-Crawlers I feel their judgemental gaze upon me, each commenting on my outlandish fashion and appearance. These adolescents know not what to make of me. They have scarcely ever encountered someone like me in their sheltered, trustfund-baby lives. All eyes on me as I make the long and arduous walk through the thickest part of the crowd where I find my new vantage point. Soon enough I overhear the usual comments and snickered insults. This time, for some strange reason, I feel rather boisterous and resilient to this pack…maybe because they are a lot younger, weaker, and far more inebriated than I am.  When I overheard someone whisper to another, “Hey, take a look at that guy standing behind you” I made sure to move in close and make strong eye contact as the Day-Crawler peered over his shoulder to take a gander at me . With me staring at them in this fashion he was immediately intimidated and diverted his gaze elsewhere. But soon something quite amusing happened…

It was approximately 2am when the Day-Crawling younglings started to migrate away to their lairs, and it was about this time that I felt comfortable enough to move freely about the watering-hole. As I passed by the last remaining pack of baby-blue oxford shirt and khaki pant wearing Day-Crawling males, a spindly, baseball capped individual voiced the following comparison about me to his fellow pack members: “Hey, look! It’s Professor Snape!” This particular Day-Crawler was in such ear-shot of me that he was almost shouting it in my face. I stopped dead in my tracks, turned toward his nerdy little frame, leaned in, and said, “Really? A Harry Potter reference? Is that the best you can do? How much of a child are you?!?” I said this rather loudly just as the jukebox music subsided at just the right moment for all his pack brethren hear me berate him. The bar staff, who is well aware of my style, began laughing at this Day-Crawler’s expense…as did the few Day-Crawling females that lingered. In an instant the spindly Day-Crawler vacated the watering-hole rightfully embarrassed and hopefully have had learned a lesson in tact and decorum. Truely a fascinating experience!

See you in the Dark!
Sir William Welles

Look at what I found…

See you in the Dark!
Sir William Welles

At four o’clock in the morning, two Vampire bats were hanging upside down in their cave. The first bat turned to the other and said: “How about you and I getting some nice and tasty blood for a late night snack?”
     “Where are we gonna find blood at this hour?” asked the other.
     “All right, suit yourself,” said the first. “I’ll go off by myself.”
     Half an hour later, the first bat returned to the cave entrance with blood dripping from his mouth and covering his body.
     “Wow!” said the second bat, “Where did you get all that blood?”
     “See that tree over there?”
     “Yeah…”
     “Well, I didn’t.”

Greetings my dear Gothlings!

Well…it’s that rotten time of year again…so I finally dragged out my favorite Xmas tree out of the closet.

Isn’t it so cute?

See you in the Dark!
Sir William Welles

Greetings my dear Gothlings!

That’s right! You heard me correctly! Underworld’s next big event on Wednesday, December 23rd, at the Sullivan Room, will feature a most unique Pageant. Wanna part-ti-ci-pate? Click on the graphic below to learn more & to sign up!

When a passenger tapped him on the shoulder to ask a question, the taxi driver freaked out, screamed, lost control of the vehicle and nearly ran into a crowd of pedestrians before screeching to a halt. “Don’t ever do that again!” he yelled at the passenger.
      “I’m sorry,” said the passenger, “but it was only a tap on the shoulder.”
      “Maybe, but this is my first day as a cab driver…I’ve been driving hearses for the last twenty years!”

Two Goth friends met in the street. “Where are you coming from?” asked the first.
     “The Cemetery,” answered the second, “I just buried my mother-in-law.”
     “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. But waht are all those scratches on your face?”
     “She put up one hell of a fight!”

Greetings my dear Gothlings!

Welcome back! Let us continue, shall we?

The dreaded Fan-pire is a strange new breed of Day-Crawlers that emerges whenever the Hollywood and the media tend to glamorize (and capitalize on) the entire Vampire lore. This results in turning certain male and (especially) female Day-Crawlers into Fan-pires by developing a sexual fetish toward the vampire “look” and mythology. As we know, many (but not all) Goths and Sanguarians draw their fashion style from Vampiric influences (I myself fall into this category, although I am not a Vampire). For those who do, we fall prey to the constant intrigue and new-found fascination from the Fan-pires.

The swelling population of Fan-pires has gotten quite out of control in the recent year thanks mostly to movies and shows such as Twilight, Twilight:New Moon, TrueBlood, The Vampire Diaries, Transylmania, etc. (not to mention the onslaught of tween books all dealing with Vampires) that determined Fan-pires have started to infiltrate the Goth scene in order to propel their Vampire fantasies, but yet, unlike my covert explorations into their ecosystems, they do not make themselves very subtle.

On three different occasions I was confronted with the ridiculous question of “Excuse me, but are you a Vampire?” Twice by female Fan-pires, and once by a male one! Here were my responses to all three: First, before answering, I ask in return, “Well…let me ask you something first…Do YOU believe in Vampires?” Now, depending on their response is how I answer their insipid inquiry…just to be a smartass. If the Fan-pire/Day-Crawler says, “No, I don’t believe in Vampires,” I then return, “Then I guess  I can’t possibly be a Vampire!” and walk away. If the inquisitor states, “Well, maybe I believe in Vampires…a little” I will respond with: “Well, maybe I am a Vampire…just a little,” and walk away. If said question-asker replies, “Yes, I do believe in Vampires!” (my favorite response) then I lean in real close to their ear and whisper, “You shouldn’t believe in Vampires,” and walk away. You’ll notice that the “walking away” is a major factor in all three scenarios. It leaves them standing there, in awe, jaws agape, wondering what just transpired. Priceless!

Ok…Field Research Update! At this very moment I find myself at the very trendy lobby bar of the W Hotel (Ha! W.W.! Eez mai hotelz) on 46th Street and Times Square…right smack in the middle of the bar as a matter of fact! The glasses of wine here start at $11.00 a pop! The bartendresses and waitresses are all aspiring or working models (dressed in an all black miniskirt ensemble with black knee high boots…which adds a nice touch.) To better describe how “trendy” this bar is, think any bar scene they show on C.S.I. Miami! The hotel clientele are, for the most part, a bunch of yuppies suit types and pampered shopping spree women who can afford a minimum of $242 a night (that’s for a broom closet sized room) to $540 a night for a suite. This place is a Day-Crawler Field Researcher’s paradise!

Once again, I am totally out of place here. Judgemental eyes follow me from the moment I step out of the elevator — it’s like that first time you see Darth Vader at the beginning of the first (episode 4) Star Wars movie, when he boards Princess Leah’s ship (ok…geek moment over). As I glance around the room, peering eyes quickly dart away from gaze. The only two people who will lock eyes with mine are (not surprisingly) the bartendresses…one blond (whom, just last night, I’ve learned is named Jen)…the other a brunette…both fashion magazine cover-girl worthy. I, dressed all in black (duh), long black hair with a silver streak, black nail polish, lots of silver rings on my fingers, black eye-liner on my eyes (Guy-liner!) and a very peculiar fashion style, naturally come across as being some sort of Rock musician from out of town, staying at the hotel, hence, the service is 1st class!!! While others at the bar (sometimes two deep) wait patiently to get one of the bartendresses attention for more beverages, one lift of my index finger and a slight smile and my glass is refilled and a fresh glass of ice on the side placed in front of me without haste. The funny thing about all of these hyper trendy places is that there is so much emphasis on the superficial, that being the oddest duck in the room creates the biggest buzz. As opposed to the other establishments where I was perceived as some strange looking guy off the street, at a posh hotel bar I am perceived as something very different since I maybe from out of town (Los Angeles perhaps). So odd.

This watering hole, however, proves to be a bit more testosterone laden than the others I’ve been to, maybe due to the added pride that comes with a more well-endowed wallet, I am feeling a bit more hostility from the male side of the Day-Crawling species. As certain females keep glancing at me, as routine would dictate, a select few males keep making a point to accidentally “bump” into me. This, my friends, is a sheer test of my manhood in the world of the Day-Crawler. The males, feigning intoxication or clumsiness, will make it a point to push, knock and shove me slightly to try to get a reaction out of me. I can generally tell which ones are genuinely inebriated from those who aren’t simply because the ones that are will apologize after physically trespassing on my personal space, whilst the others who are taking an aggressive stance with me do not offer an apology, therefore testing me me even more. They are expecting me to react as they would and say something like: “Hey! Chump! Watch where your fucking going!” But what they fail to realize is that I don’t subscribe to that sort of brutish mentality…it is the same mentality that starts wars. No, being a Goth male, I subscribe to another (and higher) way of thinking (being French I often kid: *in a heavy French accent* “I am a lovuur, not a fightuur!”), so in turn I do not react. They continue to make slight aggressive “contacts” especially in front of the females to show that I can be pushed around, thus to prove their dominance. My presence at this watering hole isn’t to enter a competition for sexual dominance, but rather to just observe. Their game does not interest me, therefore I do not react, and soon enough they will settle their nerves and curiosity by simply considering me as being a homosexual…of which I am not, but what a great camouflage, if you think of it…and therefore I no longer pose as a threat to them.

I was just about to leave the W Hotel’s lobby bar after my 3rd glass of wine ($33.00 *Ka-Ching!*) when the blond bartendress offers me a 4th one…how could I say no…I’m staying (seriously, I am here documenting all of what is going on around me, right now…switching to present mode) a bit longer then. I am writing and making smalltalk to the generous bartendress when this rather aggressive Day-Crawling Alpha male keeps purposefully knocking into me…harder than those before…and making assertive eye contact whenever I periodically glance around the room. For some strange reason, he believes that I am a major threat to his manhood, although all that I am doing is writing (this) in my notebook. I sense a hostile encounter is imminent. The blond bartendress picks up on this vibe, gives me a knowing glance, which relieves me knowing that security will soon be alerted if this male pushes on. But now I am thinking (maybe because of a bit too much wine giving me liquid encouragement as well) I want to actually engage in this encounter…for the sake of Day-Crawler Social Science, mind you!

The Alpha male is merely a few feet away from me, courting a female. She is clearly not the most attractive female in the room, but since she is sitting, with her friend (also a so-so type female…Day-Crawlers all look alike to me!), between the Alpha male and myself, she has become the prize. The female, unbeknownst to the situation unfolding around her is merely content of all the attention she is getting from the Alpha male. Now, one of the Alpha male’s pack member, a very noticeable Beta male, joins the group directly situated to my right. The strategy has changed. He called in for reinforcements. It’s getting tense in here. The Alpha male continues to make strong eye contact with me whenever I glance his way…no doubt tapping in to his frat boy days…and, of course making a snide remark about me, which I overhear…something like ”Hey…look at that guy behind you…he thinks he’s the Undertaker or something.” (Great! A pro-wrestler reference…is that the best he could do?). But this move proves to be a bad decision on his part. You see, by calling attention to me in trying to mock me, he has successfully forced the to females to give me a good once over…thus allowing me to give them one as well. I offer a smile (it was painful…trust me), and they offered smiles back. The Alpha male’s tactic failed right in front of his eyes. I return to writing. The first day-Crawler female, as I saw during our very brief glances, has in her possession quite a remarkable ring on her right hand that is of an open black rose flower mounted on a silver ring. I wouldn’t mind having the same! I want to ask her where she got it from. Should I dare? What will be the Alpha male’s reaction to my intrusion?

I make my move…

I lean forward past her girlfriend and make eye contact. “Excuse me…may I ask you an innocent question?” I ask the female, kind of taking her by surprise. Alpha male’s eyes are on me. From the corner of my eye I can notice his nostrils flaring. Interestingly enough, Day-Crawler’s nostrils will flare open in anger to allow more oxygen to the brain which keeps it more alert. Anyway…I continue, “But where did you get that exquisite ring? I would love one like that!” The female, not sensing any outright danger from me, despite my appearance, hurriedly gives me a smile and removes the ring from her finger for me to inspect (I gather it is of no great value, since who in New York City willingly hands over an expensive to a stranger for inspection?), while the Alpha male and his Beta male are standing puzzled as the female and I gush over her ring and my blatant intrusion on their conversation. The ring is quite beautiful, but unfortunately she bought it when vacationing in the Bahamas.  Now, Since the female and I are talking about “Girlie” stuff like jewelry (she likes mine too) and shopping I come across as one of two things to the Day-Crawling males: either I’m a “fag” swapping jewelry tips with this female, or I am backhandedly trying (and succeeding) in having a conversation with her by simply talking about her interests and her details, and thus steering her attention away from them! It’s fun to see male Day-Crawlers completely confused…It’s like pretending to throw a ball for a dog to fetch, but you hold onto it in your hand. The dog runs out for a few second only to realize he’s lost sight of the ball. The dog turns back to you for an answer or clue to his dilemma…the look on the dog’s face is stellar…as are the faces of the two Day-Crawlers at this very moment!

Having had my fun, I bid the females and the bartendress a very good night, and I take my leave…laughing to myself in the elevator all the way to the ground floor and out onto Times Square…

To be continued…

See you in the Dark!
Sir William Welles 

=)

See you in the Dark!
Sir William Welles